Dallas Sucks Dark Roast

Dallas Sucks Dark Roast Coffee

Deep. Bold. Unapologetically Philly.

Built on a classic French Roast profile, Dallas Sucks delivers a bold, full-bodied cup with a strong finish and enough attitude to survive NFC East group chats before sunrise.

This is our darkest roast. No gimmicks. No watered-down “America’s Team” energy. Just a traditional, deeply roasted coffee crafted for people who like their mornings loud and their football opinions louder.

Small batch roasted from South and Central American beans, this blend brings rich cocoa, toasted nuts, and a strong finish that keeps you coming back faster than Dallas fans saying, “this is our year.”

Tasting Notes

• Cocoa
• Toasted nuts
• Bold, strong finish
• Hints of playoff disappointment

Roast Profile

• Roast: Dark (French) Roast
• Origin: South and Central America
• Profile: Bold, classic, full-bodied
• Options: Ground or Whole Bean
• Net Weight: 12 oz (340g)

Best Enjoyed

• Before kickoff
• During sports radio arguments
• While doom-scrolling Dallas headlines
• At 6AM in a Wawa parking lot
• After another Cowboys playoff collapse

Warning

May cause:

• Aggressive use of “Go Birds”
• Irrational confidence
• Spontaneous tailgating
• Emotional damage to Cowboys fans within conversational range