I'm petty. You're petty. Let's fund some petty shit.
Petty Cash is a member-funded war chest. You chip in, you vote, and we turn rivalry energy into billboards, digital ambushes, and stunts Dallas will never see coming.
Starts at $5/mo · Cancel anytime · 100% satire, 0% chillNot a fundraiser. A community grudge, organized.
Think of it as a Philly sports bar disguised as a fake political campaign disguised as a coffee company with a score to settle. Members pool a little cash every month, the group votes on what to do with it, and the winning ideas get built in the real world.
Three steps. That's the whole thing.
Join a tier
Pick your level and your monthly cash goes into the pot. The bigger the level, the heavier your vote.
Vote on the petty
Each campaign cycle, members vote on slogans, placements, and which pending stunts we fund next.
Watch it happen
We build the winners — billboards, digital ambushes, whatever the vote lands on — and show you the receipts.
Every tier votes. Bigger levels vote louder.
- Community voting rights
- Supporter polls & slogan votes
- Early previews of upcoming campaigns
- A buck a day for the cause
- Founding-supporter status & annual badge
- Premium voting weight
- Everything in Lincoln
- Priority voting weight
- Behind-the-scenes access
- Your name on the "Wall of Petty"
- Everything in Lincoln
These are funded and happening.
Gameday TV Takeover
Our 30-second spots hitting streaming TV across Eagles country on NFL gamedays — trolling the Cowboys right in the living room while the games are on.
Dallas Game-Week Digital Takeover
Targeted digital ads dropped straight into Cowboys territory during game weeks. Right message, right zip codes, worst possible timing for them.
On the board, waiting for votes.
Fund the pot, then help pick which of these becomes real.
Where your money actually goes
Every dollar in the pot funds the campaigns above — the ads, the placements, the stunts. No mystery. You vote on it, we build it, and each cycle you see what got made with the war chest.
No one likes us. We don't care. Let's get petty.
Become a Petty ProfessionalPetty Cash is satire, parody, and sports-rivalry humor. We do not encourage or condone harassment, threats, vandalism, or fighting of any kind. Dallas Sucks Coffee Company is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or associated with any professional sports team or league. It's all in good fun — mostly.