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The Mission

DALLAS SUCKS COFFEE COMPANY

Fueled by passion, not hate. Passion for Philly, passion for the Birds, and passion for coffee that does not taste like it came from a truck stop mop bucket.

No one likes us. We don’t care.

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Latest Dispatches

Fresh From The News Desk

City Hall Gridlocked over name change
Dallas Announces Return to Dial-Up Internet in Desperate Attempt to “Recapture Championship Energy”
BREAKING: Eagles Reportedly Trade AJ Brown for “Two Klondike Bars and a Slice of Cake”

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Tell us what you’re tasting. We’ll pretend we’re professionals and actually read it.

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