Welcome to Dallas Sucks Coffee Company
Coffee so good,
you'll scream its name.
Built on two simple beliefs: coffee should taste amazing, and Dallas sucks.
Those two things have absolutely nothing to do with each other. Somehow, they still work beautifully together.
See what we're brewing ↓The joke ends at the bag
The packaging may be a joke.
The coffee inside is anything but.
We put ridiculous names on our bags because football is supposed to be fun. But when it comes to the coffee, we take every cup seriously.
We start with premium 100% Arabica coffee, roast it in small batches, and ship it fresh. This is rich, top-shelf coffee with the flavor and aroma you expect from the kind of place in Las Vegas that charges ten dollars for the cup and another twenty for the view.
Bold dark roasts. Smooth everyday drinkers. Distinctive single-origin coffees. Every bag contains a full 16 ounces, because twelve-ounce bags are how Dallas measures things.
Our mission
Give “Dallas Sucks” the biggest microphone possible.
Anybody can sell coffee. We’re here to fuel the faithful, defend the home turf, and carry Philadelphia’s favorite unofficial greeting deep behind enemy lines.
Defend the home turf
When Cowboys fans arrive in Philadelphia, we want them to understand exactly where they are before their luggage reaches the carousel.
Own the ride into town
Airport ads, train stations, transit posters, and every other place where visiting fans might accidentally look up and learn how Philadelphia really feels.
Keep turning it up
More commercials. More public art. More Kelly Green. More opportunities to make an innocent cup of coffee become a municipal nuisance.
Then we take it to Dallas.
There is no larger slap in the face than walking into somebody else's home and redecorating.
During Dallas Sucks Week, we want to light up digital billboards across Dallas in Kelly Green. We want Eagles fans arriving for the game to feel welcomed. We want the entire city to feel a little less like Texas and a little more like 'Deep South Philly'.
Most importantly, we want every Cowboys fan stuck in traffic beneath one of those billboards to know that Eagles fans paid for it.
Petty Cash Membership
We only need five bucks.
For $5 per month, Petty Cash members help fund our next billboard, transit ad, claymation commercial, digital takeover, or whatever beautifully unnecessary idea we cook up next.
You get real member benefits on one side of the card and a fresh reason to be petty on the other.
Petty Cash Member Benefits
The serious benefit changes every 20 seconds. The petty benefit changes every 10. We have our priorities.
No corporate sponsors. No billion-dollar backers. Just thousands of Eagles fans pitching in five bucks at a time to build the pettiest coffee company on the planet.
One final question
So, are you in?
Five dollars a month helps turn a small coffee company into an unnecessarily large civic megaphone.