{"title":"Brokeback bOyZ Collection","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ewE dEm bOyZ\u003c\/strong\u003e is a medium roast tribute to false hope, preseason confidence, and the annual emotional collapse of Cowboys fandom.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBeans handpicked from crops on the top of the mountain, Brokeback bOyZ are no stranger to bending over multiple times. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor heartbreak survivors, group chat warriors, and anyone still saying “this is our year” with a straight face.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"this-is-our-year","title":"This Is Our Year Medium Dark Roast","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"dscc-product-copy\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eThis Is Our Year.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cem\u003e…again.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis Is Our Year – Decaf Medium Dark Roast\u003c\/strong\u003e is brewed for the fans who enter every season convinced the dynasty is back, the roster is loaded, and the parade route just needs a fresh coat of paint. They are hyped up enough already, the last thing they need is caffeine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBuilt on a rich Swiss Water Process decaf French Roast, this coffee delivers deep, smoky flavor without the caffeine… because emotionally preparing for January is exhausting enough already.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCarefully aged for over 30 years and roasted dark enough to match the mood by Wild Card Weekend, this blend is smooth, bold, and surprisingly comforting right up until reality appears on national television.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eExpect notes of:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFalse hope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOffseason hype\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDelusions of grandeur\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSmoky regret\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFourth quarter sadness\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThen January comes.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eRoast Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRoast:\u003c\/strong\u003e Medium Dark Roast Decaf\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eProcess:\u003c\/strong\u003e Swiss Water Process Decaf\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBean:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% Arabica Coffee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eProfile:\u003c\/strong\u003e Deep, smoky, rich aroma\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOptions:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ground or Whole Bean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 16 oz (454g)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVibe:\u003c\/strong\u003e Smooth. Confident. Historically inaccurate.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFlavor Profile\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDeep smoky character with a surprisingly smooth finish. Rich enough for late-night sports arguments, mellow enough to sip quietly while deleting playoff prediction posts.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e⚠️ WARNING:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eConsumption of this product may cause a choking hazard in January\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e Side effects may include preseason optimism, irrational confidence, and sudden disappearance after Week 16. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDrink responsibly. Manage expectations.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Dallas Sucks Coffee","offers":[{"title":"Ground","offer_id":52156274245914,"sku":"TIY-GR","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":52156274213146,"sku":"TIY-WB","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0993\/6551\/9642\/files\/year_lifestyle_photo.png?v=1781560507"},{"product_id":"we-dem-boyz","title":"wE dEm bOyZ Medium Roast","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"dscc-product-copy\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003ewE dEm bOyZ\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cem\u003eA Public Service Initiative.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDoes someone you love show signs of excessive Cowboys fandom?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHave they ever:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eScreamed at a television hard enough to concern neighbors?\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePunched a couch after a third-and-long?\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDeclared “THIS IS OUR YEAR” before Week 3?\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThreatened to burn their jersey… then wore it again next Sunday?\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePosted “WE DEM BOYZ” online immediately before a catastrophic loss?\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePhotoshopped Dak Prescott onto Jalen Hurt's Super Bowl photos? \u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTaken out a home equity loan to bet on the Cowboys to win the Super Bowl?\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey may be suffering from \u003cstrong\u003eAcute Championship Deficit Delusion Disorder (ACDDD).\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThankfully, there’s hope. Well, we hope. We're not doctors or anything. We just make coffee so good that it will change your life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ewE dEm bOyZ\u003c\/strong\u003e is a smooth medium-dark roast specially crafted to support emotional stability during dramatic regular season overreactions, nationally televised collapses, and spontaneous television destruction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSmooth, nutty, and dangerously optimistic, this blend was developed to help Cowboys fans remain calm, hydrated, and at least partially supervised during football season.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome have described it as: \u003cstrong\u003e“Like Adderall for Cowboys fans. ” \u003c\/strong\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003ePossible symptoms include:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOverconfidence after beating a 4-11 team\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUncontrolled use of star emojis\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSudden urges to blame the refs\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDestroying household electronics during playoff games\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePosting “next year” before the fourth quarter ends\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e Stay calm.\u003cbr\u003eHydrate.\u003cbr\u003eStep away from the television. \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eRoast Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRoast:\u003c\/strong\u003e Medium-Dark Roast\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBean:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% Arabica Coffee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eProfile:\u003c\/strong\u003e Smooth, nutty, balanced\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOptions:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ground or Whole Bean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNet Weight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 16 oz (454g)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVibe:\u003c\/strong\u003e Loud. Emotional. Unsupervised.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFlavor Profile\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSmooth body with nutty notes, mild sweetness, and a clean finish designed to comfort fans during emotionally challenging fourth quarters.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eRecommended Use\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBefore kickoff\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAfter throwing the remote\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDuring sports radio meltdowns\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhile explaining why this season was “different”\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBefore attempting to fight strangers in comment sections\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e⚠️ WARNING:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eConsumption of this product may temporarily increase confidence levels and lead to irrational playoff expectations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e If symptoms persist into January, consult your nearest Eagles fan. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBrew responsibly. Manage emotions.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Dallas Sucks Coffee","offers":[{"title":"Ground","offer_id":52156274540826,"sku":"WDB-GR","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean","offer_id":52156274508058,"sku":"WDB-WB","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0993\/6551\/9642\/files\/wedemboyz_lifestyle_image.png?v=1781558626"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0993\/6551\/9642\/collections\/bb_collection_image_web_final_1550x776_c04c32f1-219a-4d41-becd-2319c75c61df.png?v=1778486901","url":"https:\/\/dallassucks.org\/collections\/brokeback-boyz-collection.oembed","provider":"Dallas Sucks Coffee Company","version":"1.0","type":"link"}